Sexologist Catherine Blanc answers all our questions about libido!

The same goes for our libido ! It feeds on, or becomes clogged with, the personal and external events with which we are confronted on a daily basis, and the joys or dissonances in our relationships with others. This libidinal impulse then turns towards something else to create, to do, to achieve and sometimes to protect ourselves.

Of course, we're right to wonder about its absence, which can be a sign of sadness, depression or even a masked depression, because a libido isn't possible when you're in this imbalance, and the urgent thing is to regain energy, joy and life force to regain your libido. But in general, is it normal for me to occasionally lose my desire? Yes, but does it call into question my love for the other person? No. It's simply the testimony of a troubled relationship with oneself, a vital impulse that's weaker from time to time, like a weather report that testifies to a humanity that's sometimes busy elsewhere, sometimes affected by what we're going through: sometimes it's sunny, sometimes cloudier. 

We can't reduce our desire to a duty to perform without risking damaging our enthusiasm for love and our erotic impulse. There are so many other pleasures that can be freely offered to nourish complicity and the joy of being together, and perhaps reinvigorate the libidinal impulse. We need to take the time to think about all the things we can freely offer the other person, all the pleasurable moments we can propose without always having to stage our bodies for sexual purposes, and simply wait for the relationship to allow this sexuality to flow more freely. We don't need to rekindle sexuality for the other person, but to rekindle it if necessary for ourselves, for that wonderful feeling of inner fulfillment. 

This hormone inhibits libido to limit the possibility of another pregnancy , which would dry up the mother's milk and endanger the infant. There's nothing serious about it, just the magic of the body at work. So there's nothing to feel guilty about.

Added to this is the fact that a child is a great source of pleasure. The pleasure that comes from the power of having brought a little being into the world, the pleasure of feeling so precious to this little one, the pleasure of recognizing the flesh of its flesh... A good dose of pleasure is thus satisfied. And if energy is lacking in the face of all the care and sleep deprivation, it becomes difficult to have a libido when the body is crying out for rest.

Yet sexuality is a softness and a cuddle that restores the body , which may have been shaken during motherhood, and enables us not to reduce or lose ourselves in the sole maternal function.

Provided it's not a duty owed to her partner, sexuality helps a woman to emerge from fusion with her child, and thus invites her to regain self-awareness, to re-accept her body, her sex, her skin. To love herself with confidence and ambition. But to each her own pace... And it's up to each of us to accompany her gently.

However, we must remember that to have a libido, we need to want something good for ourselves, to accept ourselves in our reality, to have a project for ourselves. What often fails is that we fantasize about what we should be. As a result, we end up distancing ourselves from ourselves and losing our libido as we exhaust ourselves trying to meet our supposed needs. 

The path to regaining your libido starts by proposing to yourself to feel to want to wantIt's about finding yourself, your body, the limits of your body, your sensations. Focusing on yourself and not on the excitability you represent for the other person, and thus awakening the sleeping beauty in observations of your body, sensations rediscovered or revealed in one way or another, according to your tastes, modesty, fantasies or curiosities, but always starting from yourself.

Returning to oneself to rekindle the inner flame is not to be selfish, but to be rich in proposals and possibilities.